Mark Carroll's Journal

In recent weeks I have run out of capital for the work on my house. Some roof and attic work and outside rainwater drainage remain outstanding priority tasks but they will have to wait. I am thus transitioning to a life that is not largely at work or with a handyman. The situation has been getting me down but now I will get to try to settle in to my home a bit more, especially once I have done better at tackling my backlog of computer-related chores.

This morning I finally restarted my workouts. I have not done them for weeks. It wasn't pretty. I did manage thirty sit-ups rather than the previous fifty, the push-ups and pull-ups and such were a sorry sight. I hope to try again on Monday morning. I will soon get back to walking a little too.

Work has been busy, I shall even do a bit toward a work-related task this evening. I think work will be more under control again within a few weeks though. I am settling into my more regular office and even now have a bowl for the popcorn that I shall someday make come from their machine. Given the nature of the delta variant, many staff remain working from home until October at the earliest and I am never in my office on the same day as my officemate. On my work lanyard I now sport confirmation of my vaccination.

I coped with things reasonably for many months: the lockdown, masking, sanitizing, staying at home, having to spend so very much money on work on the house, though the money had been hard-won and the house issues were of unexpected magnitude. I feel as if I am shifting to a new phase, triggered by running out of money and having to deal with the house as it now is, also the apparent hopelessness of the pandemic: less than half of those in Tennessee are vaccinated and the delta variant is running wild. I had thought that the major house issues would get fixed, the infection rate would drop, etc., but the tunnel just grew longer instead.

I am out of patience. I will keep wearing a mask in the grocery store. I will get what vaccination boosters I can. Over coming months, I will get the handyman back for a few days here and there to continue the work on the house. However, I also want to start living my life again, and the life I have tolerated over recent months is one that it is time to fix a little to include more of what I enjoy. Life may never be what it once was but I am not conceding gracefully.